Cupcakes For My Cupcake

Petula: What kind of cake do you want for your birthday?
Davis: Something simple.
Petula: Are you saying that because you're craving a plain sort of cake, or is it out of fear that I'll get wound up trying to make something complicated, and I'll have a complete meltdown again?
Davis,small voice: I just don't want you to ruin my birthday.

So I set out to make a simple birthday cake. What could be simpler than chocolate cupcakes with dark cherries inserted into their centers, brushed with a kirsch syrup and topped with whipped cream, chocolate shavings and maraschino cherries? Shut up. It seemed simple in my head.
The baking went fine, as did the cherry insertion and syrup brushing. The problems began with the whipped cream. The "simplicity" of the plan hinged on my cream whipper/dispenser, and I'm sorry to say that it let me down. Instead of a lovely swirled whipped topping, I ended up with an oozing soggy mess. I kept thinking I hadn't shaken the gadget enough, so I'd shake more and dispense a dollop of sog atop one victim after another. It turns out there was a problem with the chargers that had been sitting in the drawer for two years, but that realization didn't dawn until it was too late.
What to do now? As I picked the cupcakes up to try to correct the problem, they started falling apart. I soon realized that, even if I were able to make them more attractive, they were far too messy to be eaten like normal cupcakes unless one were to dine leaning over the sink.
Cue: meltdown.
It may have been Davis's birthday, but I like to find little ways to make things all about me. It was the increasingly piercing pitch of my whines that drove the poor boy out of the house to get more whipping cream. Fortunately, this gave me some time to reflect and adjust my attitude into one that was less likely to make Davis ban me from future birthdays altogether.
Things went a bit more smoothly after that. The old cream was scraped off, and the new cream was mixed using a conventional mixer and dolloped on top with a spoon (not fancy, but perfectly adequate). Then I removed the paper cupcake wrappers and served them on plates with forks. I have to say, I was pleasantly surprised by the final product, although I'm pretty sure that Davis will be requesting that his next birthday cake is made by Hostess.