Monday, January 22, 2007

She's No Pinball Wizard
(but she can do The Twist)

I recently decided that I neeeeeeeeed to own a pinball machine. I have always loved the sport (well, it's not any less of a sport than bowling is it?), and I think it would be awesome to be able to play it in the privacy of my own home.
Why do I need privacy, you ask? Because I'm embarrassingly bad at it. I become mesmerized by the flashing lights and boinking sounds, and then I make the flippers flail spasmodically with little regard to the proximity of the ball. Crowds gather to stare and mock. It's very sad.
I'm not sure how I made it this long without realizing that I require my own pinball machine, but once it became clear I got right on the job of finding one. After doing some surfing on eBay I came to the realization that contemporary machines are beyond ugly, in fact they're soul-scarringly hideous. Of course, if someone were to give me one I'd be thrilled beyond belief (my soul has bounced back from far worse sights). But since this is all still in the fantasy stage, I'm going to select something pretty to dream about. That's where the Internet Pinball Machine Database came in. They have some super-fantabulous vintage pinball goodness. It seems to be compendium of virtually all pinball and pinball-like machines ever made, and it supplied me with all of the images shown here. Check these out:

catalina
The playfield from Catalina, 1948


lazy-q
The playfield from Lazy-Q, 1953

hong kong
The playfield from Hong Kong, 1952

So they all have amazing graphics, but are you noticing anything else about these?
Anything like, say, lots of GIGANTIC BOOBIES? Well, it gets even better:

judy
Backglass from Judy, 1950. Nice angle.

wonderland middle playfield
The playfield from Wonderland, 1955. Hmmm...I guess Alice has already gone through puberty in this version, and they've also thrown in a buxom brunette. Perhaps it's the Queen of Hearts striding over to show Alice her sovereignty (wink, wink). You might want to also take a look at the text, if one is in a lewd frame of mind it can be quite entertaining. Not that that's my frame of mind. I'm just saying...

And then there's this one that needs no comment:
balls-a-poppin backglass
Backglass from Balls-A-Poppin, 1956.

Now, believe it or not, I didn't intentionally select only Pin-Up Pinball machines. That's just what the majority of the ones from that era seem to look like. Don't get me wrong, these machines are incredible and I do hope to own at least one of my own someday (or several...to be housed in our fabulous gaming wing...the one that I'm sure Davis will build me if I just ask nicely...), but their curvaceous qualities do seem a little excessive.



1 Comments:

Anonymous Old comments saved from the HaloScan exodus said...

How naive of me -- who would have thought that there would be an entire online database for pinball games?
Gina | Homepage | 01.22.07 - 9:04 pm | #

Petula,can you hear me?( random Tommy reference). I have tagged you!!!!!!
Tell us the weird stuff.
jungle dream pagoda | Homepage | 01.23.07 - 12:21 pm | #

So Ms, Darling, whats the difference between Pinball and Pachinko? Eh? I have a the picture part of a Pachinko game, a south seas theme.
mary jane | Homepage | 01.24.07 - 7:33 am | #

A-hem, I meant I have the, Playfield (must use correct pinball terminology).
mary jane | Homepage | 01.24.07 - 7:35 am | #

6:02 PM, August 22, 2007  

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